


wish you were here

by emmerrr



Series: To live will be an awfully big adventure [15]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, post-Andrew's graduation, rousing pep talks from our lord and saviour David Wymack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 23:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15617310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmerrr/pseuds/emmerrr
Summary: It’s the last first game of the season he’ll ever play for the Foxes.It’s also the first game he’s had to play without Andrew.





	wish you were here

**Author's Note:**

> another tumblr dialogue prompt :) 
> 
> (OOPS i forgot to say what it was -- "I didn’t mean to love you so much" for andreil, which i've tweaked a little bit)

Neil sits alone in the dark in the lounge at the Foxhole Court.

A couple of hours earlier he had captained the Foxes in their first game – and first win – of the season. His nerves had been thrumming with the usual post-match adrenaline and triumph, but it’s dulled somewhat now. He’s happy that they’ve won, but there’s an undercurrent of sadness there. It’s the last first game of the season he’ll ever play for the Foxes. 

It’s also the first game he’s had to play without Andrew.

He’d given Robin his car keys so she could drive some of the team back to Fox Tower, because he has his  _own_ car now. It’s not flashy like the Maserati, but it’s functional. A VW Golf, ideal for driving across country when he goes to visit Andrew.

And it’s Andrew he’s thinking of now.

As if on cue his phone starts to ring, a picture of Andrew flipping off the camera with a cigarette between his lips flashing across the screen.

It was Nicky who had set contact pictures for all of the Foxes on Neil’s phone, before he left for Germany. He’s sure he could have figured it out for himself, but he can’t say he minds that Nicky took it upon himself to do it. 

Neil answers the phone. 

“Hey.” His voice is soft, partly because it’s quiet and dark in the stadium and it just feels right, and partly because it’s Andrew, who he misses with everything he has.

“Hey,” comes the reply, followed by the distinctive sound of Andrew exhaling smoke. If Neil closes his eyes, he can almost picture it; him and Andrew, alone on the roof, sharing cigarettes and truths and kisses.

Once upon a time, Neil’s imagination only offered him horrible things, but not anymore. The good’s been piling up over the last few years.

“Your new backliners are shit,” Andrew says, his own way of letting Neil know that he was watching the match, as if Neil ever doubted he would.

Andrew can fool a lot of people, but he can’t fool Neil.

“They’re freshmen, they played for one quarter, and it was their very first NCAA game,” Neil says. “But I’ll pass along your assessment.”

Andrew huffs, mildly amused. “No you won’t.” 

“No,” Neil agrees. “I won’t.”

There’s a pause, and then Andrew says, “It sounds quiet. No victory party tonight?”

“There  _is_ one. I’m just not there.”

“Yet,” Andrew says.

Neil shrugs, a redundant action as Andrew can’t see him, but then again Andrew’s always been good at reading Neil’s silences.

“Weren’t you always the one going on about team bonding?” Andrew’s tone is dry, but he never says anything without a purpose.

Neil sighs. “Are you telling me to go and be sociable? Because I could say the same to you.”

“I’ve gone to everything I’m expected to show up for,” Andrew says, which, to be fair, is true. “You’re deflecting.”

“What are you, my shrink now?” Neil snaps.

“No,” Andrew says calmly, and Neil’s immediately annoyed that he’s the only one who seems to be struggling. But the annoyance is swiftly followed by guilt, because of course he doesn’t want Andrew to be struggling. He always,  _always_ , wants Andrew to be okay. Better than okay.

The  _problem_  is that all of Neil’s usual post-game routines have involved Andrew for the better part of the last four years, and now he feels adrift and alone.

He knows that he’s  _not,_ but it’s just how he  _feels_. And he doesn’t want to talk to Betsy about it. He just wants Andrew.

“Neil,” Andrew prompts when he goes too long without replying.

“This  _sucks,”_ Neil says, because even though saying it out loud doesn’t help, it doesn’t particularly  _hurt_ either. It’s good to throw the words out there. There’s a voice to the feeling now; it’s no longer weighing him down.

“It does,” Andrew replies simply, and even though his tone hasn’t really changed, Neil can sense the difference, because with Andrew, he always knows.

Neil takes a breath. “Okay,” he says. “I should go then, I guess.”

“Go be captain,” Andrew says quietly, and it makes Neil smile just a little. “Call me tomorrow.”

“You know I will.”

“Just checking.” The phone clicks dead, and Andrew is gone.

Neil breathes out and drops his head back against the sofa, and he  _yearns_ for Andrew. He wonders if it would be truly pathetic of him to go back to Fox Tower, call Andrew back and just stay on the phone until he falls asleep.

Down the hall, he hears brisk footsteps approaching, and figures he’s about to get kicked out by the cleaning staff. Instead, Wymack walks past, glancing into the room, and then he hesitates and doubles back. He squints into the darkness, right at Neil.

He puts a hand over his heart, looks skyward, and flips the light-switch on. “Jesus  _Christ,_  Josten, you scared the shitout of me.”

“Sorry, Coach.”

“The fuck are you still doing here? We won, in case you didn’t notice? You’re supposed to be off celebrating in a safe and appropriate manner with your teammates. Not skulking around in the dark.”

Neil scowls. “I’m not  _skulking.”_

Wymack remains in the doorway for a moment, head tilted to the side as he considers Neil. He frowns, then he comes closer and perches on the arm of the sofa opposite where Neil is sitting.

“Everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Neil says with a shrug. “Like you said, we won.”

“We did. Which is why I’m wondering why you look so fucking mopey.” His eyes drop to the phone still clenched in Neil’s hands. “Andrew?”

Neil smiles wryly. “How did you guess?”

“Well, it couldn’t have been Kevin, because I only just managed to get him off the phone.”

Neil lifts his head up at that. “He was watching?”

“Oh yeah,” Wymack says, then chuckles fondly. “He has some, uh,  _suggestions_. You can probably expect his call tomorrow.”

He drops his head back down again and gives Wymack a thumbs up. “Can’t wait.”

“What I’m wondering is why a phonecall with your boyfriend has you so down.”

Neil wrinkles his nose at the ‘b’ word but lets it slide, considering it’s a convenient term for what he and Andrew are to each other.

“It’s just weird,” Neil says, then glances across at Wymack. “Him not being here.  _Any_ of them not being here, but Andrew in particular.”

“I get it,” Wymack says, and he sighs. “It never gets any easier when you little shits graduate.”

“I should have been prepared for this though,” Neil says. “It’s not like I didn’t know it was coming. I’ve been through it before with the girls, and then Matt and Kevin. And now Nicky’s in Germany and Aaron’s at medical school, and Andrew’s…” He trails off.

Wymack lets the silence hang for a little while before answering. “It was always going to feel worse when Andrew left. It’s not weird. You miss him.” After a brief pause, Wymack carefully adds, “You love him.”

Neil’s heart clenches with the truth of it.

“I never meant to love him so much,” he admits. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Coach, none of this was ever part of the  _plan.”_

“No offence, Neil, but your original plan was to die, so I’m pretty sure this is an upgrade,” Wymack points out in his typical gruff manner. “And plans are overrated anyway.”

Neil flashes Wymack a glimmer of a smile at that, but it swiftly fades. “It hurts though,” he says. “Missing people that you love.”

“Oh, kid,” Wymack says, and he sounds so  _tired_ all of a sudden, wearied from sharing the weight of his Foxes’ issues so they’re easier for them to carry. Neil has no idea what he’s going to do without Wymack after he graduates. “I know it does.” He leans forward and pins Neil with that shrewd stare, the one that’s become increasingly difficult to lie to over the years. “But don’t you think it’s worth it?”

A message chimes through on Neil’s phone and he checks it automatically. It’s from Andrew, and all it says is:  **only 3 more weeks**

Neil smiles, because that’s how long it is until Andrew’s coming down to visit for the weekend. There’s 2 games to play between now and then. There’s practices and there’s classes and there’s homework. It’ll fly by.

He looks up and glances at Wymack, who’s watching him with a knowing glint in his eye and a half smile on his face.

“Yeah, Coach,” he says. “I think it’s worth it.”

He types back:  **can’t wait**  and then gets to his feet.

“Can you drop me off, Coach? I’ve got a party to get to.”


End file.
